Exercises in Style

Base story:

A man is on his last day of work at a coffee shop after working there for years. He takes the order of a usual working customer, Jay Gadsby, who was in a rush to get to work. Jay does not know it yet, but he is about to be let go from his company. Jay’s boss is a real jerk. Jay finds an American Express Credit card outside of the shop and uses it at the register. The card is declined, but the cashier forces it through the system, insisting its an error in the system and trusts Jay because he is a regular. Jay does not know he is being watched by the credit card company on camera. The cashier knew his order by heart, a Large Vanilla Latte. Music is playing over the sound system (Genre of the music is jazz). A retired male is reading The Great Gatsby near the front door. He spills his coffee and breaks a ceramic mug. The cashier of the shop had to clean up the mess.

 

 

  1. (SOV structure, not SVO only in dialogue—Linguistic)

(Jay’s Boss talking to Jay on the phone, while Jay is on his way to work)

The regular large vanilla latte, you can get me.

Be late to work, you will not Jay.

Happening today, contract terminations are.

Make me happy, you will.

Do or do not, there is no try.

  1. (Cashier First Person POV–Interrogative–old English—Linguistic)

Wherefore is this last day of worketh at the Coffee Shop in New York so hard? How didst I smileth and holp customers for years? doest the regular customer, Jay, order a Large Vanilla Latte ere worketh? doth I swipe his credit card with relief–knowing t would beest the last time I tooketh his order? wherefore doest his payment decline? doth I alloweth Jay through with a free coffee due to his faithfulness to this business? at which hour is the café wast quieter than this? wherefore is this jazz playing on the sound system? Who readeth The Great Gatsby? And wherefore doth thee spill black coffee all ov’r this wooden floor and cracked our ceramic mug? wherefore doth simple things becometh so complicated? wherefore art things that art meanteth to beest easy, becometh hard?

 

 

  1. (Point of View—Lawyer in court–Linguistic N+7 machine-Linguistic)

Jay Gadsby will be punished for this crew card fraud. Regardless of Jay’s encouragement and emotional statue, his activities were dishonorable. Gadsby attempted to scam the location coffee shoo near Long Isolation using F. Scott Fitzgerald’s crew card. The evolution is shown through a surveillance tariff captured by the coin shop’s viewer camera’s. American Express’s workings tracked the use of the card and pinpointed Gadsby using it on campaign. Gadsby was naïve to think that he could save a few bucks by using someone else’s infrastructure. Gadsby attempted to steal from Fitzgerald, someone who worked hard and saved their monitor throughout their lifestyle to retire.

 

  1. (Constraint-No full words-Linguistic)

 

RECPT-Cofee

AMEX #844722737786536

9/29/2005

7:22am

$5.21

DECLIN

“F.S.F.”

 

  1. Jay (Declarative—Different POV—using surfer slang—Narrative based)

Thank god I was done with that job, my dude. I am so stoked bro. I was done running late to work because I had to get coffee for my old school boss. I will buy no more lame Vanilla Lattes! There will be no more spilled coffee. That stuff is gnarly, bro. No more seeing the same rad Coffee shop workers daily. No more epic jazz music in the mornings, bro.  No more credit card ripping. I was done being scared of losing my job, bro. Latronic, my dude.

  1. Fitzgerald (Different POV—No using the letter “o”—Narrative based)

My retirement didn’t start well. I was able sit and read for happiness all day, but I misplaced my credit card arriving here. Luckily I had cash. My first read was The Great Gatsby. I sat near the entrance. A business man entered the place while I was reading. He went in line then he came near the bar. I heard jazz music and in my excitement, hit my mug and cracked it. I felt bad that the tenured cashier cleaned up the mess. Felt terrible when I heard it was his last day too.

 

  1. Cashier (Different POV- Narrative Based Dream)

Fog took over my vision. A man rushed at me, declaring his goods. I had seen him before, but I was unsure where. I was a push over, he was a push over, who was our superior? I could not feel my arms or legs, my job could not be done. My thoughts were useless and my aspirations came to a screeching halt as I could not figure out my place in the world. I tried to leave the foggy place but could not. Some stayed at the top, others came down with me. Who decided this? Not only was my vision fogged, but so was my mind. How do I step beyond complication of fairness? How do I move up this ladder in front of me? I moved forward with vigorous strength and woke up. It was time for my last day of work.

 

 

  1. Narrative Based using the following randomly generated words (Second Person)

(bloodthirsty, rude, description, coercion, beauty, sissy, bug)

 

You went to take the order of the bloodthirsty Jay Gadsby, who was in a rush to get to work. Jay didn’t know it yet but his rude boss was about to let him go from the company. Jay’s boss is a real sissy. Jay found an American Express Credit card outside of the shop and uses it at the register. The card is declined, but you forced it through the system, insisting it was an error in the system and trusts Jay because he is a regular. Jay does not know he is being watched by the credit card company on camera causing coercion. You knew his order by heart, a Large Vanilla Latte that looked like a beauty. Music of beauty was playing over the sound system. A retired bug was reading The Great Gatsby near the front door of the shop. He spilled his coffee and breaks a ceramic mug. The cashier of the shop had to clean up the mess too.

 

  1. (Tell the story from a POV outside of the coffee shop–Genre Variation)

 

At this AMEX company,

surveillance access is received

time to find somebody

a coffee shop deceived.

 

On National Coffee Day,

A retired mans upset.

No longer writing essays,

Could be gaining debt.

 

Fitzgerald’s a lucky man

as I found Gadsby

who swiped and ran.

Jay’s really not classy.

 

 

  1. (HAIKU-Genre Variation)

Credit card theft means

You’re lazy. While hard work

Is reading to succeed.

 

  1. Melting Snowball-Genre Variation

dishonorable

complicated

successful

terminate

deceived

unhappy

retire

dream

read

out

in

0

 

  1. (4x4x4 – Genre Variation)

Must take card here

Your life will hurt

Rely upon hope that

Time will turn near

 

Coin take lies afar

Just Don’t take mine

bump cuss hurt grow

mean mood then nice

 

pics snap java bean

AMEX find card flee

Born atop lazy lake

Hard book work rake

 

Time left come move

Don’t lurk make hell

Call cell soon tell

Doom hard here dude

 

 

 

 

The credit card number, 844722737786536, actually means “this cards stolen” when translated to text

National coffee day is on September 29th

 

Great Gatsby is based on Long Island

  • Themes from Great Gatsby are bootlegging
  • The American Dream (retirement)
  • Being watched by the “Eyes” – Surveillance
  • Jazz was a large part of the roaring twenties
  • Jay Gatsby got his money bootlegging alcohol
  • S.F. = F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Gadsby is an English-language novel consisting of 50,000 words, none of which contain the letter “e” (Wikipedia)

 

For the SOV structure I used a yoda generator

Shmoop Old English Generator

Surfer Generator – funtranslations.com

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